This is vulnerability.
I was convicted by the Holy Spirit on Saturday, October 2nd, 2021 and He said these words:
"You cannot move forward if you don’t deal with what is it that you’re feeling."
He told me that I can not keep suppressing my feelings and I didn't even realize that was what I was doing.
I thought I dealt with the thing and I didn't understand why the thought kept coming back.
"We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ..."
- 2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV
He told me that I could not keep my suppressing thoughts.
Just because a feeling or thought knocks does not mean that you have to answer it, you can just let it go.
"A fool gives full vent to his spirit,
but a wise man quietly holds it back."
- Proverbs 29:11 ESV
I don't know about you, but I ain't tryna be no fool. So I'm gonna be like Elsa and:
Anyway, back to the revelation from the Holy Spirit.
So then on Sunday night, I heard this message from Pastor Jerry Flowers and his wife, Tanisha.
Would you believe that he said THE EXACT words the Holy Spirit told me the previous night?
"You're so moody because you're still trying to get over what you told people that you're over"
- Jerry Flowers Jr.
Chiiiilllleeee. That hit me like a TON of bricks.
Yes, I had been telling people I’m good.
Yes, I had been appearing to be okay.
Yes, I had been telling people, that I was ready for the next thing that God had for me.
But inside, I was slowly losing my mind.
I wasn’t allowing myself to feel through the pain.
I didn’t want to bother people with my problems.
The more I kept acting like I was over it, the more I kept delaying what God was trying to send.
I was hurting inside.
But I kept suppressing my feelings, everyone who saw me assumed I was okay and thought I was good.
...but no one knew.
Not a soul,
...except for God.
Putting on a facade is exhausting and it’s a terrible feeling when it looks like nobody cares.
But guess what? God cares.
He really does.
He cares for me and He cares for you too.
It’s okay not to be okay.
Oftentimes we may say things like, “I’m too broken for God, He doesn’t want me”.
THAT IS A LIE!
He loves you SO much.
We have to remember that God is not looking for a perfect person, lay your burdens down before Him. His grace is sufficient for you. That means that He has got your back. He will provide whatever is it that you may need.
For example, in this particular case, I needed a friend to listen to me and He did.
"...But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
[2 Corinthians 12:9]
His POWER is made perfect in WEAKNESS!
He reminded me that He is there for me to lean on when I cry.
He does not EVER get tired of hearing our problems or hearing us cry out to Him.
When we are vulnerable with God, His power rests on us and we are made STRONG and WHOLE.
So give it to Him… whatever it is. Don’t delay your healing any longer. Don’t delay what He has for you.
You don’t have to suffer anymore. Jesus already did that for you on the cross.
You can just rest. I promise. ❤️
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